The adventures of Phil Small

Phil was very unfortunate to be the butt of every ones amusement at the golf weekend this year only because he left himself wide open to abuse from the other thirteen players by falling asleep in the bar of the hotel we stayed at in Bude. On the first night Phil decided to try on various wigs and teeth and even managed to perform a sexual act on one of the other players whilst fast asleep. You would have thought he had learnt his lesson after seeing the pictures the next morning but he was asleep by 10pm again needless to say we painted the end of his nose, put a copy of a Ideal Home magazine on his lap, posted signs on his chest and placed a burnt cork on the middle of his forehead so it would leave a lasting mark. The third night we were also ready with nail varnish and lipstick supplied by our host at the hotel but unfortunately for use he decided to go into town with some of the others to escape the party tricks. The next morning however it was reported by his room mate that he found Phil sleeping on the floor at the bottom of his bed (spooky) also there was a large amount of water below the pedestal of the wash basin (we all came to the same conclusion